Why don’t you do it?’ ‘You never do the laundry’) but it can be even more damaging when it’s related to things with an emotional context. This can be true of small annoyances (‘I always do the washing up. Eventually, they may come to agree with the person who is attacking them – believing that they must be right. If you tell someone they’re wrong about things over and over, it can make them feel insecure or less confident in their point of view. Gaslighting is dangerous because it undermines a person’s sense of self-belief. In certain situations, someone might deliberately gaslight their partner as a way of controlling them – a serious form of emotional abuse that is never acceptable. It can have a highly negative effect on a person’s self-esteem and confidence. When it’s done repeatedly, over a long period of time, it can have the effect of making someone doubt their own ideas about things – or even question their sanity. It’s mostly harmless, a form of pettiness – an unwillingness to be proven wrong.īut, in more extreme cases it can be a real form of abuse. Many of us might be guilty of some mild form of gaslighting from time to time – refusing to hear what our partner has to say even if they’re in the right or persistently disagreeing over some minor quibble, even when you aren’t sure of your position. Most commonly, it takes the form of frequently disagreeing with someone or refusing to listen to their point of view. Gaslighting is a term that refers to trying to convince someone they’re wrong about something even when they aren’t.
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